


Sonic Adventure Saga: Neighborhood Watch

by Aschutamales



Series: Sonic Adventure Saga [1]
Category: Disney - All Media Types, Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies, Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Sonic Adventure, super crossover party!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 19:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15803475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aschutamales/pseuds/Aschutamales
Summary: Sonic and his friends decide to create a Neighborhood Watch group after their trip to the park becomes dangerous.





	Sonic Adventure Saga: Neighborhood Watch

Act 1: Neighborhood Watch

Goofy, Sonic, Daffy, Tails and Mario decided to go to the park. Sonic made sure to bring a weapon with him. He didn't like how some of these mothers looked at him. With fear and hatred. His friends thought he was paranoid. As they came closer to the park, the sound of children playing became louder. Daffy began smoking a cigar. "Hey, put that shit out. There are kids nearby" Tails demanded.

"Fuck those kids. The Gods will strangle them in their sleep" Daffy said as he took a puff. Tails slapped Daffy causing him to let go of his cigar. Goofy stomped that shit out. "Fuck you guys!" Daffy yelled. 

Just then, a mother exited the park and slapped Daffy with soap, "Watch your mouth!" she yelled.

"Shut up bitch!" Sonic yelled. The mother glared at him. He pulled a pistol on her.

Sonic's friends gasped. "Sonic no!" Tails yelled. Sonic ignored him, "I'll kill you right here!" he threatened. The mother quickly slapped the gun down and roadhouse kicked Sonic in the face. Sonic fell to the floor defeated. "You won't defeat me!" Daffy yelled charging at the mother. The mother jumped back and dodged all of Daffy's swings. She then took him down with a savage upper cut. "Holy shit!" Mario said. He quickly covered his mouth and the mother nodded at him.

The group retrieved their fallen members and fled. Tails dropped $450 dollars by mistake. The mother picked it up. It'd go to her son's college funds.

(Editor's note: Who on earth carries that amount of money with them?)

((Writer's response to the Editor. Fuck you))

As Sonic and Daffy slowly came to, Tails devised a plan to steal his money back. "Fuck this shit. We go and kill everyone" Mario said. "No, I think we should rob a bank" Goofy said.

"No. I got a better idea" Sonic said as all eyes turned to him, "I say we start a neighborhood watch"

"Fuck you bitch" Goofy said. It was clear that he was embezzling funds out of neighborhood groups. Should word spread, he'd have to leave town immediately and possibly change his name. No, he would not do that. Not this time. Sonic was moving over to him to strike. He'd have to act fast in order to make this convincing.

"Wait" 

Sonic paused.

"I changed my mind. This.... This is a good idea actually. I've got a few people in mind for our committee group" Goofy said. He pulled out a phone, "I'll give them a ring right now" Goofy said as he left the room. Sonic smiled, "We meet every 2nd Tuesdays at 3"

Goofy grumbled in response. "Three A.M? You motherfucker!" Daffy yelled.

"Shut up, cunt! I mean PM" Sonic said smugly as he watched Goofy leave. Daffy wanted to stab Sonic in the throat.

Sonic turned to address his remaining friends. "Well? What do you guys think?" He asked, "It's a good idea. But I want to sell stuff like ice cream or rip off games" Mario said. "We can do both ideas really. The group will meet once a month?" Tails asked. Sonic shook his head, "Twice" 

"Twice a month and let me guess... Nightly checks?" Tails asked. Sonic nodded. What he didn't mention was the kidnappings, money laundering and public executions that would forever taint the name of the Neighborhood Watch. They would be as Gods and let the power consume them whole. Soon they would become something they dare not be. Something more monstrous than what they first were. Whom among the noble fair people would be able to stand up to such a fiendish group?

As Sonic prepared to set his plans in motion, he paused. He thought back to a time where he was standing by a window overlooking a beautiful view of the city. He was holding a glass of wine and pondering his life. He wondered whether butterflies danced with the moth blow the flames. He wondered if birds could be people too. There was a knock on the door suddenly. 

It was his date. She wore a stunning blue sparkling star dress. The Gods envied her, they wanted the dress for themselves. The Gods went to the store and bought the Starlight Blue dress which cost $59.75 each. The Gods paid via Ghosts and pieces of gold. Each gold piece was at the highest purity ever recorded: 99.99%. And The ghosts were The old souls of fishermen who would sing old sea shanties to The store owner every night. The Gods laughed as they were now stunning as well. 

Sonic's date however cared not for the Gods. She had her eyes set on Sonic. Sonic was the CEO of a racing business. He made millions in ticket sales and merchandise. He even had a few shows dedicated to his racers. His employees loved him as he them. He paid fairly and offered only the best. Sonic looked back at his beautiful date. She was tan and had long flowing black hair. She stood beside him as he poured her some wine. Their two glasses clanked and they looked out at the view. What Sonic didn't know was that Shadow had snuck into the apartment. 

Shadow threw a piece of wet paper that was wrapped in bacon at Sonic.

"Shadow! What the fuck did you throw at me?" Sonic said surprised. He looked at the object and dropped it, "This is disgusting!" 

"Shut up bitch!" Shadow yelled as he tackled Sonic through the window. The two fell for some time before being swallowed up by a giant fish that came out of the sea. Sonic instantly regretted moving to Big Fish city.

Sonic's daydream was interrupted by Tails, who slapped the shit out of him. "Wake up bitch" Tails said. "Fuck you Tails" Sonic said as he tried to daydream again instead of plan the creation of the Neighborhood Watch group. He had decided fuck the group. 

Goofy had returned with three strange people. A man with a fancy mustache named Jack, a living bomb named Ryan and a vampire called Count Mack. People called the vampire CM. Goofy introduced his guests to his friends. Mario spat on Ryan's hand as Ryan did the same to Mario's hand. They shook hands. Jack tried to strangle Sonic but was tazed by Tails. Tails also tazed Sonic because fuck that guy. 

Knuckles showed up and gave Sonic $40 for helping him fix his car. Jack pulled out a knife, "Have at thee for it is I" Jack announced. He lunged at Knuckles. But knuckles was too strong and choke slammed Jack to the ground. "Fuck you" Knuckles spat on Jack's face and walked away. Sonic was excited about the money he received from Knuckles. He and Daffy could finally buy the chicken club sandwiches. They'd hide the food in a briefcase and walk around town until they were attacked. That way they'd be justified when they got into a fight. But this plan would have to wait until after they established the neighborhood watch.

"Damn-it" Sonic said.

"Shut up bitch" Daffy replied.

Sonic tackled Daffy and began pummeling the black duck with fists of anger. Goofy slammed his foot into Sonic's face. Sonic got off Daffy and prepared to fight Goofy. "Stop!" Mario said. He and Tails went to stand beside Goofy. "Fucking bastards" Sonic said. Knuckles kicked Daffy in the face face and left.

"What the fuck!" Daffy said as he got up. "Fuck you Daffy!" Sonic yelled. Mario slammed his fist into Sonic's jaw. Tails tripped Sonic. Goofy pulled off his belt and began whipping Sonic with it. 

Ryan smiled and ran over to the action. He soon began to kick Sonic. Count Mack pulled out a hamburger from his pocket and a crispy chicken pattie from another. He did the unbelievable and combined the two. He then pulled out some sauce and put some on the Burger. Along with two slices of cheese, four strips of bacon and lettuce. Count Mack Began to scream loudly. His screaming stopped the fight but also stoked his already massive ego.

The scream attracted a group of thugs. They walked over to Count Mack and slapped him. One of the thugs took the burger. "Hey!" Daffy yelled. Sonic and his attackers attacked the thugs. Mario tackled and strangled a thug. Sonic pulled out a pistol and shot the thugs in the foot. Tails, Goofy and Ryan cut off the downed thugs arms and hands with handsaws. Tails slapped a thug with his own hands. Soon they would cut off the feet and legs.

The thugs screams could be heard from blocks away, but none dared to help. Soon everyone got bored and slit the thugs throats. Count Mack decided to kill himself by putting a pistol in his mouth and pulling the trigger. He had gotten the pistol from Sonic after trading 6 magic chicken club sandwiches for Sonic's pistol. "Fuck you bitch" Sonic said after the trade. Sonic had slapped Count Mack and also tried to set the Count's hair on fire. Daffy had sprayed Sonic with a hose after taking the sandwiches.

The Count's suicide had failed. He healed from his wounds. 

Sonic decided to make an announcement after drying himself off with one of Mario's magic capes. Mario made sure to have plenty of magical capes around. While they weren't the ones that gave you special abilities, they did however resist water or any type of liquid to the highest degree possible. That in of itself was quite magical if I do say so myself. Which I do. "Thanks Mario" Sonic said. Mario nodded at the blue hedgehog. "Okay. This day shall mark the formation of the Neighborhood Watch" Sonic said, "Now let's go save the Neighborhood!" 

The group cheered. Sonic pressed a button on his phone and goons followed Luigi home.

For the next three weeks, the new Neighborhood Watch began protecting the neighborhood. They spray painted their Vigil on many houses, they harassed high schoolers who were walking home, they caused car accidents and they cheated in card games.

A biker gang drove into town. As they stopped briefly at a gas station, one of the bikers looked around. Many of the citizens were heavily armed. "Did something happen?" One of the bikers asked. "Woah woah woah. Who the fuck are you?" Goofy asked as he walked over with a squad of Sunday hikers. They were sporting chainsaws and had fully automatic weapons on their backs. The bikers pulled out their weapons, the leader of the gang made himself known. "We don't want any trouble. We're just here to fuel up our bikes"

"Alright," Goofy said, " I'll show mercy"

Goofy had his hikers attack the bikers with their chainsaws, the bikers responded with either bats or their own guns. The leader of the biker gang had decided to confront Goofy. Goofy threw a grenade at the gas station and ran. The biker leader chased after Goofy, but the explosion killed his gang and the hikers.

Goofy dropped some marbles on the floor. As he began to run faster, the biker leader ignored the marbles and went around the dropped items. "Fuck you, dog person!" He yelled. He pulled out a gun and shot Goofy in the leg.

Goofy fell to the floor. "Damn" Goofy said.

As the biker walked over to finish off his target, he didn't notice Mario behind him. Mario snapped the Biker's neck. "You OK!?" Mario asked. He helped his ally up and the two made their escape. Soon the police would be there, so Mario whistled for a flying cloud.

"No spike throwing this time" Goofy said as Mario helped him into the cloud.

Mario frowned. "Fine..." Mario said as the two flew away. Mario opened a can of beer.

“Dude! What the fuck?” Goofy yelled.

“Shut up bitch!” Mario yelled as he passed over a beer to Goofy. The two clanked their cans together in an act of brotherhood.

Sonic

Sonic had created a secret base and gathered in secret, dark sorcerers. As he left his minions to gather knowledge, he received a call. It was Luigi. "What do you want? You never call me" Sonic said. 

There was a pause.

"I am behind you" Luigi replied. Sonic turned around and screamed.

Luigi slapped him. "I know it was you who called those goons on me"

The blue blur didn't reply. Luigi pulled out a knife and placed it on the ground. Sonic raised an eye brow. *All will be explained soon. Follow me" Luigi ordered. The blue hedgehog just shrugged and complied.  
30 minutes later, Sonic and Luigi were at a fancy restaurant. The Bean Bag Club Fuck 3000. After a brilliant and wonderful dinner/lunch, Luigi brought up the reason for his visit. "I need your help with something. I can't tell you what It is yet as I'm still planning things out, but I will say this. Be prepared" Luigi said. Sonic nodded sternly, he assumed this would involve dark magic or something similar. "Don't worry, I will" Sonic replied. Soon after, there was another call. "Fuck" Sonic screamed. The waitress frowned at Sonic. Luigi placed a glock on the table and suddenly the waitress minded her own business. Anyway, it was Daffy who called. 

"What is it?" Sonic demanded as he quickly answered the phone.

"You piece of shit. I'll fucking kill you. Get your ass over here, Goofy was attacked" Daffy yelled. 

"Good! Fuck Goofy. I hope he fucking dies" Sonic hung up his phone. He called Tails.

"Where the fuck are you Sonic? Get here now" Tails demanded.

"I'll beat your ass fox boy. Fucking worthless trash" Sonic replied. He hung up.

"I've got to go" Sonic said as he rose from his seat. Luigi eyed Sonic, "Very well" 

As Sonic walked off to leave, Luigi quickly grabbed the hedgehog's arm. "Call off your goons"

Sonic stated at Luigi for a few seconds before punching the green plumber in the face and walking off. "Fine. You'll be back" Luigi hissed as he watched Sonic leave.

Sonic rushed over to the Neighborhood Watch's usual meeting ground. He walked into the scene with a shotgun. The meet area had a desk that sat the entire committee. "I'll fucking kill everyone here. What do you cunts need?" Sonic demanded. "FUCKING SCUM! SHOW SOME RESPECT! " Daffy yelled.

"I AM YOUR LEADER!" Sonic yelled back. Tails stood up, "I'll fucking kill you" 

Sonic laughed.

"Enough" Mario said with a booming voice, "Goofy was attacked. We need a plan"

"Let's go burn down another store" Daffy suggested.

"We should go strangle some orphans and nuns" Sonic added as he rubbed his belly. He had a steak dinner deluxe before the meeting. Included with the steak were a baked potatoes, sliced carrots with steamy broccoli covered in zesty steak sauce, a biscuit, cream corn and mushroom soup. Luigi was also there at the dinner as you fucking better remember or else, Luigi had paid for the meal and only asked for a favor in return. One he had yet to cash in. Despite the fact that he asked only 30 minutes ago.

Daffy glared at Sonic. He knew the blue hedgehog had eaten something, he just didn't know what, "How about we tie people to train tracks until they reveal their most inner secrets" Daffy said while staring at Sonic. Daffy made an unknown movement that Tails noticed and nodded at in agreement. But since the movement was blurred out, Tails misinterpreted it as something else entirely.

"No. We need to bring about another public execution" Goofy said.

"But who do we execute?" Sonic questioned. Tails got up as he felt this was the time to strike. This action was ignored by the other committee members as they assumed he would soon be delivering a passionate speech.

"Hmmm... We'll have to think of someone" Mario said.

"But perhaps we..." Daffy trailer off as his eyes darted towards Tails. Daffy's unknown gesture was going to be ruined yet again by a fox.

"Perhaps what?" Mario asked as he soon slowly looked towards Tails.

With all eyes on him, Tails walked over to Sonic and slammed his head to the meeting desk. Tails began punching Sonic's sides as Sonic screamed. Daffy got up, grabbed his chair and ran over to Tails. He whacked Tails with the chair. Mario threw fireballs at the three. 

"I guess the Neighborhood Watch meeting is done" Goofy said as he left. He had a cast on his leg and had to use crutches.

"We'll see you next week, Goofy" Sonic yelled, "Have a good weekend!"

"Thanks I guess..." Goofy grumbled back as he left.

Mario ran at Daffy and slammed his fist into his enemy's stomach. Sonic and Tails fought on top of the desk.

As they fought, Shadow walked in and unleashed a Chaos blast. The four Committee members fell to the floor. "Yes, kneel before me" Shadow said as he looked over his fallen 'friends'.

"Shadow... Why are you here?" Tails asked.

"Shut up bitch" Shadow said, "I'll call my boys on you". He left. 

Everyone got up. "Wait. Where are the other three members?" Sonic asked. "The Count had a doctor's appointment. Ryan is at work and that other guy is a bitch" Daffy explained. Jack walked in, "Thee fuck you say Duck?" He asked. Daffy walked over to Jack and spat on his shoe. Jack punched Daffy in the face and another fight began.

"Fuck this. I'm going home" Sonic said. Mario tripped Sonic and began kicking Sonic. Tails joined in. After a few seconds, the two left. 

The fight between Daffy and Jack was going poorly. Daffy was picked up and thrown at Sonic. Jack left. "Get off me bitch!" Sonic yelled. Daffy quickly got up and kicked Sonic in the face. "FUCK YOU!" Daffy yelled. Daffy ran out of the meeting area to find and attack Jack again.

Sonic slowly got up and patted himself off. He decided to call Tails again. "What do you want, Hedgehog?" Tails demanded. "Fuck you bitch. I'll beat your ass. I'm coming for you right now!" Sonic yelled.

"Bring it bitch!" Tails yelled back. Tails hung up.

Sonic decided to go buy some chips from the store instead. On his way there, he noticed Daffy running from Jack. Jack's face was smeared with what looked like green goo. Sonic threw a rock at Jack. "Damn you hedgehog!" Jack yelled. He changed targets but before he could began his chase, Sonic yelled something. "I'm going to buy some lunch. Come with me!" 

Jack and Daffy thought about this for a moment. "Sure. Why not" Daffy threw Jack a wash cloth. After wiping his face off, he apologized for his actions. "Fuck your actions. We're allies" Daffy said. Jack smiled and the three were off.

However, Tails was watching. He landed in front of Sonic. "Where you going bitch?" Tails demanded. "To the store, want to come?" Sonic asked.

Tails tackled Sonic and slammed his fist against Sonic's jaw. Sonic threw Tails off him, "Fuck you bitch" Sonic yelled. "Let's get out of here!" Daffy yelled. Sonic, Daffy and Jack ran away as Tails got up.

A police officer passed by and quickly pulled over. He pulled out his gun and fired at Tails. Tails hid behind a mailbox and pulled out a laser gun. "What do you want from me?" Tails demanded.

"You're going to die here committee fool!" The cop yelled. The cop knew that he had to take down the Neighborhood Watch one at a time due to the Intel he received from a reliable source. The Neighborhood Watch were far too dangerous and had quickly become the city's new King Pins of crime. There was nothing the Mayor could do as he was a weak fool. It was up to the police to attempt to kill the problem with as much violence and bloodshed as possible.

Tails fired his laser gun and destroyed the cop car. It killed the cop and Tails went on his way. He could not find where Sonic and the others had went and thus gave up. "Fuck it" he said as he lit a cigarette. He sat down and pondered his next move. It was still a bit early in the evening, maybe he'd go to the store and pick up things for an early dinner. He took a long drag on his cigarette.

He knew for sure he'd punch Sonic in the balls eventually.

Goofy

Goofy was making his way back home when a man jumped out of a trash can and began to rub Goofy's back. "You rat bastard! I'll fuck you up and strangle your mother when I get healed up!" Goofy yelled. The man responded with a hiss before licking Goofy's cast leg. 

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Goofy screamed as he used the cast leg to kick the man in the face. The man scrambled away as Goofy fell to the floor in pain. As Goofy laid there, Count Mack saw and picked him up. The Count them proceeded to carry Goofy home.

"Thank you, old friend" Goofy said.

Knuckles

Goons attempted to follow Knuckles to his house. Knuckles knew he was being followed, so He led them into an alley.

"Come out"

The two goons revealed themselves to Knuckles as NickNac and Zoopspill.

"Those are terrible names" Knuckles chuckled.

“Shut your mouth to the closed position and listen as we beat you down!” Zoopspill said.

“Yeah! You safety committee people are going to get your ass beaten” NickNac said.

“I’m not part of that group. Where are you getting your information from?” Knuckles asked.

Zoopspill smiled and revealed to him an information block, “This block emailed us it’s location and revealed to us that if we were to confront you, we would receive a reward”

Knuckles had enough of this bullshit, “That doesn’t tell me who hired you."

Nicknac took a step forward as if he was about to say something. But then… NickNac fell to the ground as his throat was slit.

"Agreed" Espio said as he stepped from out of the shadows. Zoopspill pulled out a gun and killed himself.

"Should I figure out who sent them?" Espio asked.

"No. We have more important things to discuss. Zoo-cats"

Espio frowned at the mention of those fucking no good low scumbags. The Zoo-cats were a local gang that hated new companies. Especially good companies. They would be a huge problem as the government didn't care about them. Often leaving gun crates and drug crates near the various Zoo-cat bases, in the hope they would kill each other in a civil war. But the government was wrong and the Zoo-cats only grew stronger. 

It was only a matter of time before Knuckles would have to step in and handle things. He only hopped he could rely on his friends to support him.

Mario

Mario was at the mall with a group of Pizza-boys. The Pizza-boys had surrounded Mario as they demanded things. They heard from a certain person that it was Mario who dealt directly with the issues that bothered them. They trusted this information and the person giving them the information. "There are too many people doing bad things" a Pizza-boy said. Mario pulled out a knife and jabbed it in the poor boy's throat. "Shut up, bitch" Mario said as he watched the Pizza-boy bleed out on the floor. The other boys of pizza backed up. "We don't want any trouble" another Pizza-boy said. 

Just then a police squad car did a drive by. The incoming bullets slaughtered the Pizza-boys. Mario had used one as a human shield. The car had sped off as Mario threw fireballs at it. His fireballs missed. Some of the fireballs either destroyed parts of the city or killed innocent bystanders. Mario cared not. He was part of the Neighborhood Watch, he could kill as many people as he wanted because of that fact. Fuck those people. 

Mario spotted Sonic. He was holding a briefcase and was being followed by two other committee members. Mario ran over to them. "Hey bitch" Daffy greeted. "Fuck you duck" Sonic said, he turned and slammed the briefcase into Daffy's face. Mario laughed at Daffy. Jack pulled out a knife, "I'll kill you right here" he threatened Mario.

Mario ignored the threats, "Together we are strong" 

"Fine" Sonic said as he slapped Jack's hand. Jack submitted and allowed his knife to drop. But he would remember this. "Good. We will come out and defeat our enemies" Mario said.

As they traveled to the store, they realized that the Neighborhood Watch was useless. "Should we break up the group? We haven't actually done anything worthwhile" Sonic said.

"Shut up bitch" Daffy said. He slammed his fist into Sonic's face. Sonic screamed as he fell to the floor. The whole falling part took at least 45 seconds to be completed. By the time Sonic actually fell down, Daffy had already started smoking a cigar. Sonic quickly got up and kicked Daffy in the stomach. Mario didn't care as he was still plotting. Jack was standing in the corner attempting to look menacing but ended up as another edge-lord stuck in his mother's basement. 

As Daffy and Sonic fought, Luigi entered the scene. "Call off your safety group and I'll call off mine" 

"So you're the one behind the attacks on our group" Sonic hissed.

"Yes. Only because you forced me to" Luigi stated. Sonic puked out his phone and told his goons to back off for now. "WHAT THE FUCK!?" Daffy yelled after witnessing the disgusting act Sonic performed. "Shut up" Sonic said.

Jack slapped Daffy, who returned the favor by socking Jack in the balls. "Bitch ass punk" Daffy spat out.

"Regardless of those events. I called off my people" Sonic stated. "Good" Luigi said, "I have my revenge fulfilled. But I'll still fuck your group up"

"What the fuck brother!?" Mario demanded to know. 

"Join me brother and together we shall rule the neighborhood" Luigi shouted. "What about us?" Daffy asked, Luigi looked into Daffy's mouth by force. "You three will join at a later date" Luigi said, "But for now we shall plan" 

"Understood" Sonic said. This was the favor. Sonic understood that now.

"Fucking slut!" Daffy yelled as he tackled Luigi and began strangling him. Mario slammed his foot into the side of Daffy's head. Sonic picked up a bat and knocked Mario across the face with it. Luigi threw up several fireballs into the air, causing several more to rain down on the group. Jack panicked and ran in a circle screaming at the top of his lungs. Very soon, the police would arrive after hearing about fireballs raining down from the heavens. A homeless man attempted to join the fight with a metal pipe in hand but was shot dead when the police did arrive. "YOU BASTARD!!!!" Daffy yelled as he, Mario, Luigi and Sonic rushed at the police.

Even while all the craziness was going down, Daffy still had time to think. He thought that Luigi was insane for proposing the idea of another safety group. But deep down.... Daffy understood too. He knew the new safety group would be LAW.

"Thank you" Luigi would have said.

"Fuck you, bitch" would have been Daffy's reply.

Then and only then would there be more infighting.

End of Act one

**Author's Note:**

> This is only the beginning


End file.
